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Free Meditation Course!
One of the best tools for stress relief is meditation...not the 30 minute type three times a day, but short interludes...this is a great course starting on April 1...join in - it is free!!
Give it your attention, it will pay you back...
Monday, March 29, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Listening...REALLY listening...
Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self confidence. ---- Robert Frost
I am quite disturbed by all of the anger and bitterness being exhibited about health reform...can't we all just get along? We have know since the Civil War that there have always been differences about how much the federal government should be involved in - vs. the States. This is not new. And...I would guess in another 50 years we will be having the same debate. Differences are good...BUT, only when we are willing to listen and learn.
You listen to the "other" and they listen to you. That is how it is supposed to work...then you walk away from each other having learned something, gained insight, became vulnerable to another point of view, and we can agree to disagree...it is OK!!! we don't need to yell at each other, spit at others, use explatives, that is not a civilized society. What are teaching the youth?
We are going backwards in this country with this form of communication. REAL listening requires us to set aside our differences, and hear the other...Stephen Covey: Seek first to understand and then to be understood. You don't have to surrender your values to listen....just create space to learn something, that's all...
Let's try this versus that.
I am quite disturbed by all of the anger and bitterness being exhibited about health reform...can't we all just get along? We have know since the Civil War that there have always been differences about how much the federal government should be involved in - vs. the States. This is not new. And...I would guess in another 50 years we will be having the same debate. Differences are good...BUT, only when we are willing to listen and learn.
You listen to the "other" and they listen to you. That is how it is supposed to work...then you walk away from each other having learned something, gained insight, became vulnerable to another point of view, and we can agree to disagree...it is OK!!! we don't need to yell at each other, spit at others, use explatives, that is not a civilized society. What are teaching the youth?
We are going backwards in this country with this form of communication. REAL listening requires us to set aside our differences, and hear the other...Stephen Covey: Seek first to understand and then to be understood. You don't have to surrender your values to listen....just create space to learn something, that's all...
Let's try this versus that.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
What's Right in Your World?
When you realize that nothing is lacking, the whole world belongs to you! ~ Lao Tse
Approaching life from the perspective and attitude that things are good, is a very different way of life. I am not a master of it yet I know that when I look for what's right, my whole body feels different, as if it has turned into another "being".
It takes conscious awareness to make this happen. And that also means that I cannot be focused on the past or future, but the present. That is the trick. To look at life from the past "lens" or from the future "lens", will not allow you to celebrate what's right with the world.
Seeing what is "right" vs. what is wrong is a stress-free way to explore your spiritual path.
Approaching life from the perspective and attitude that things are good, is a very different way of life. I am not a master of it yet I know that when I look for what's right, my whole body feels different, as if it has turned into another "being".
It takes conscious awareness to make this happen. And that also means that I cannot be focused on the past or future, but the present. That is the trick. To look at life from the past "lens" or from the future "lens", will not allow you to celebrate what's right with the world.
Seeing what is "right" vs. what is wrong is a stress-free way to explore your spiritual path.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Embrace Conflict
(thanks to Cheryl Richardson for these wonderful thoughts)
"Marion Woodman tells us that wholeness comes from learning to "hold the tension of the opposites."
We live in a world of duality. There's daylight and nighttime, summer and winter, good and evil. It's the nature of living as a human being on earth to deal with the tension of opposites. And yet, navigating the complex feelings that come from holding this tension can be stressful and challenging at best. You interview for a new job, for example, and find yourself anxiously waiting to hear how you did while knowing that at the same time you need to be patient and detached from the outcome. Or, you try to be a good parent by encouraging your son to go out into the world to live a full, rich life, while everything inside you begs to hold tight to keep him safe.
How do we hold the tension of the opposites and still thrive and enjoy our lives? What can we do to make this experience less stressful? Here are a few things that helped me:
Give voice to your feelings. As I grappled with mixed emotions during the trip, I felt alone and a little crazy. After all, here I was in one of the most beautiful cities in the world and part of me wanted to be home. It didn't make sense. But, once I stopped suffering in silence and shared my thoughts with Michael, I discovered that he felt it, too. Sharing my feelings and knowing I wasn't alone immediately made me feel better.
Honor the opposites. Rather than judge one side as better or worse than the other, give both parts of you equal consideration. I spent some time by myself writing about the traveler in me who was thoroughly enjoying seeing new places, meeting new people, and having new adventures. And I also wrote about the other part that loved our home, missed Poupon, and wanted the comfort and peace of familiar routines. What I soon discovered was that giving time and space to both parts of me made me feel stronger and more capable of being with the tension.
Strengthen your ability to hold both. Once I felt stronger, I had a glimpse of what Marion was talking about when she said that "wholeness" comes from holding the tension of the opposites. Rather than try to exorcise or ignore my uncomfortable feelings, I needed to see the choice to be with both as a kind of "inner training session." As I centered myself in the tension, I imagined weaving parts of me together into a stronger, more mature woman. By doing this I was developing an emotional muscle that would ultimately allow me to bring more of who I am to the world. "
I personally love paradox...it is fun to see that two things, that are opposite, are both true...stress, yes, and good stress...it is all how we see it with our eyes. Rev. Mel
"Marion Woodman tells us that wholeness comes from learning to "hold the tension of the opposites."
We live in a world of duality. There's daylight and nighttime, summer and winter, good and evil. It's the nature of living as a human being on earth to deal with the tension of opposites. And yet, navigating the complex feelings that come from holding this tension can be stressful and challenging at best. You interview for a new job, for example, and find yourself anxiously waiting to hear how you did while knowing that at the same time you need to be patient and detached from the outcome. Or, you try to be a good parent by encouraging your son to go out into the world to live a full, rich life, while everything inside you begs to hold tight to keep him safe.
How do we hold the tension of the opposites and still thrive and enjoy our lives? What can we do to make this experience less stressful? Here are a few things that helped me:
Give voice to your feelings. As I grappled with mixed emotions during the trip, I felt alone and a little crazy. After all, here I was in one of the most beautiful cities in the world and part of me wanted to be home. It didn't make sense. But, once I stopped suffering in silence and shared my thoughts with Michael, I discovered that he felt it, too. Sharing my feelings and knowing I wasn't alone immediately made me feel better.
Honor the opposites. Rather than judge one side as better or worse than the other, give both parts of you equal consideration. I spent some time by myself writing about the traveler in me who was thoroughly enjoying seeing new places, meeting new people, and having new adventures. And I also wrote about the other part that loved our home, missed Poupon, and wanted the comfort and peace of familiar routines. What I soon discovered was that giving time and space to both parts of me made me feel stronger and more capable of being with the tension.
Strengthen your ability to hold both. Once I felt stronger, I had a glimpse of what Marion was talking about when she said that "wholeness" comes from holding the tension of the opposites. Rather than try to exorcise or ignore my uncomfortable feelings, I needed to see the choice to be with both as a kind of "inner training session." As I centered myself in the tension, I imagined weaving parts of me together into a stronger, more mature woman. By doing this I was developing an emotional muscle that would ultimately allow me to bring more of who I am to the world. "
I personally love paradox...it is fun to see that two things, that are opposite, are both true...stress, yes, and good stress...it is all how we see it with our eyes. Rev. Mel
Sunday, March 7, 2010
"New Frame"?
Cognitive reframing--the wonderful practice of looking at things in a more positive light in order to experience them as less stressful--is a simple and effective stress reliever. And there are unlimited opportunities to practice cognitive reframing to maintain a more optimistic (i.e. less stressful) world view.
Sometimes it helps to see how others can take lemons and make lemonade; sometimes it's nice to get a pat on the back for a brilliant example of cognitive reframing you've used in your own.I would be curious to see how YOU do this...let me know...
"Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility." ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer
I think the only way to be ready to serve the world in the best manner possible is to reframe the situation that is stressing you right now, then recognize that it is less important that what you have to do in life...and then take action. Your gifts are too important to hold back...reframe and enjoy the joy!
Sometimes it helps to see how others can take lemons and make lemonade; sometimes it's nice to get a pat on the back for a brilliant example of cognitive reframing you've used in your own.I would be curious to see how YOU do this...let me know...
"Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility." ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer
I think the only way to be ready to serve the world in the best manner possible is to reframe the situation that is stressing you right now, then recognize that it is less important that what you have to do in life...and then take action. Your gifts are too important to hold back...reframe and enjoy the joy!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Curiosity about our "Reasons"
So, how did you do comparing your values vs. how you spend your time (from previous post)?
If you are doing your values--as I said, GREAT! If not, I often ask my clients/students, why not? That is not an easy question to answer...because we can look for the easy response and say "I did not have enough time"...or "Someone asked me to do _______ and that took me away from ______"
However, let's look deeper...let's be curious about ourselves....let's not assume that it was the reason that showed up for us. What lies beneath that reason?
I think getting curious about ourselves is a valuable and important activity. What drives us? If I say I am going to meditate 15 minutes each am becasue I know that my spiritual health is important to me, but then I don't do it 5 of 7 days...what does that mean? Not from the blaming perspective, but from a compassionate curiosity perspective. Am I not worth it? Am I giving in to someone else's needs or priorities? Am I in fear about the lack of time I have so I skip it?
Those are better issues to work with vs. the initial take on the reason I gave myself. Those kind of things represent some work to be done...some of the causes of our stress...then we are are on the road to healing that issue by exposing it. Rev. Mel
If you are doing your values--as I said, GREAT! If not, I often ask my clients/students, why not? That is not an easy question to answer...because we can look for the easy response and say "I did not have enough time"...or "Someone asked me to do _______ and that took me away from ______"
However, let's look deeper...let's be curious about ourselves....let's not assume that it was the reason that showed up for us. What lies beneath that reason?
I think getting curious about ourselves is a valuable and important activity. What drives us? If I say I am going to meditate 15 minutes each am becasue I know that my spiritual health is important to me, but then I don't do it 5 of 7 days...what does that mean? Not from the blaming perspective, but from a compassionate curiosity perspective. Am I not worth it? Am I giving in to someone else's needs or priorities? Am I in fear about the lack of time I have so I skip it?
Those are better issues to work with vs. the initial take on the reason I gave myself. Those kind of things represent some work to be done...some of the causes of our stress...then we are are on the road to healing that issue by exposing it. Rev. Mel
Monday, February 22, 2010
Your Five Values
"There is surely nothing other than the single purpose of the present moment. A man's whole life is a succession of moment after moment. If one fully understands the present moment, there will be nothing else to do, and nothing else to pursue."-- Hagakure
Ok...so you have your five values that really represent who you are or (or maybe what you would like to be). Start here....track yourself for a week and see how you spend your time. Does it "look" like your five values? Why or why not?
If so--congrats! You are doing a good job of living your "word". If not, what got in the way? Because how we spend our time is a great indicator of our values...perhaps there was a new value you discovered or perhaps you were living someone else's values?
We have a choice in every moment to live our values...when we do, we feel good and are probably not stressed. When we don't, we are stressed and guilty. We need to live what we know to be true for us, not for others. This is a huge aha for some of us...so track yourself this week and see how you do...Rev. Mel
Ok...so you have your five values that really represent who you are or (or maybe what you would like to be). Start here....track yourself for a week and see how you spend your time. Does it "look" like your five values? Why or why not?
If so--congrats! You are doing a good job of living your "word". If not, what got in the way? Because how we spend our time is a great indicator of our values...perhaps there was a new value you discovered or perhaps you were living someone else's values?
We have a choice in every moment to live our values...when we do, we feel good and are probably not stressed. When we don't, we are stressed and guilty. We need to live what we know to be true for us, not for others. This is a huge aha for some of us...so track yourself this week and see how you do...Rev. Mel
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