Persistance in the Duality of It

“It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer.” -—Albert Einstein

Ok....so it is uncomfortable sitting in duality, separation, in the us vs. them mentality - it is stressful. Yet, being in "it", and staying there to see what you can learn...and see what messages there are...and figuring out how to reconcile it... means that it becomes less stressful in the loing run.

We need to be able to "sense make" the paradox in the world...staying there, vs. running away from it by rejecting it or becoming angry and frustrated is NOT the key to peaceful evolution. As we can connect with it and develop a relationship with it, we grow by learning and being open to seeing what we can learn from it.

Try it the next time you experience paradox and become another Einstein.

Listening to Relieve Stress

"Our listening creates a sanctuary for the homeless parts within another person."~
Rachel Naomi Remen

We are often frustrated with a situation or person because we disagree with their point of view. Yet, our "disagreement" gets in the way of understanding the other person more completely. The other person needs to have someone listen and hear them...then, we can be the vehicle in which that happens...once their story is told, they feel better.

And maybe, just maybe, when I do this, I have learned more about that person by being vulnerable to what they believe and allowing it to bounce around with my beliefs. Learning increases harmony and decreases stress...allow yourself to really listen and learn.

Knowing Our Truth

"Truth is a deep kindness that teaches us to be content in our everyday life and share with people the same happiness." ~ Kahlil Gibran

What is it for you? Oprah, in her monthly magazine, has a great feature on the last page: "what I know for sure". I like to respond to myself each month when I see that - What do I know for sure? What is my Truth?

When I know my truth, there is less stress, because I don't have to think too hard about what to do...I am clear on my values...my beliefs...what I know for sure - my truth. Then, things get easier.

Yesterday, I answered the question, and here was my answer: Conversations that matter. That is one piece of my truth, and important one...it was a wonderful evening of honest and magnificent conversation with friends...what a blessing. I came home, in peace, and clarity, and loving my world.

Getting clear about our truth, as Gibran says, is being content...a thing I know for sure.

Lead with Intention...not Expectation

Any kind of expectation creates a problem. We should accept, but not expect. Whatever comes, accept it. Whatever goes, accept it. The immediate benefit is that your mind is always peaceful.~Sri Swami Satchidananda

Yes, the expectation of people doing things in a certain way or by a certain time, often leads to disappointment...another version of stress. If can allow for ouir intention to, lead us along the path of life, it is ours - we own it and control it.

But we do not control others...we can not make them do it (whatever "it" is). So, letting go of what we expect...and know that regardless of what others do or don't do, we are fine...we are good...wewe are complete...a much more peaceful existence.

Commencement

"By believing passionately in something that still does not exist, we create it. The non-existent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired." ~ Nikos Kazantzakis

I love this time of year at graduation...it creates such closure for me...and for students, it is just the beginning. They have a whole life to create on their canvas. I see their excitement, their alive-ness, and I am happy for them in their pursuit of their dreams.

Knowing what you want to passionately pursue lessens the stress of not knowing what to do...feeling stuck. Just moving, taking ANY action will make us feel better, less stressed, as movement loosens us the static energy in our minds and bodies. It also begins a different chemical process in our bodies, possibly leading to the relaxation response, where infinite creativity and peace are found.

If we passionately pursue "the thing" we desire, we will create the qualities of that thing...just by starting with one step and moving forward....so COMMENCE!

Salute to Dr. David Walker

"Do you have the consciousness of what you desire?" ~Dr. David Walker

He was one of my heroes in life...a wonderful friend, colleague, teacher - how does one remember such a powerful force like David? His website for his Church shows a welcome video from him...he was just a darling to me.

One of his most powerful lessons was one in which he discussed time, and since time is a stresser for many people you may really appreciate the lesson: it is NEVER about time, it is about consciousness. So, I created this affirmation for this: I make best use of my consciousness every day.

If I do that, I will never regret or feel guilty or stressed about my day - I did the best with my consciousness and that is good enough for me...BTW, the name of his book is: You are Enough - get it, read, it honor it, and be it...it is the best that we can do to honor his life.

thanks David...for all the memories...mel

Laughter to Reduce Stress - just do it! (from about.com)

Laughter is good for your soul- -and your body!

Research has shown health benefits of laughter ranging from strengthening the immune system to reducing food cravings¹ to increasing one's threshold for pain². There's even an emerging therapeutic field known as humor therapy³ to help people heal more quickly, among other things. Humor also has several important stress relieving benefits.

Stress Management Benefits of Laughter:

• Hormones: Laughter reduces the level of stress hormones like cortisol⁴, epinephrine⁵ (adrenaline⁶), dopamine and growth hormone. It also increases the level of health-enhancing hormones like endorphins, and neurotransmitters. Laughter increases the number of antibody-producing cells and enhances the effectiveness of T cells. All this means a stronger immune system, as well as fewer physical effects of stress.

• Physical Release: Have you ever felt like you "have to laugh or I'll cry"? Have you experienced the cleansed feeling after a good laugh? Laughter provides a physical and emotional release.

• Internal Workout: A good belly laugh exercises the diaphragm, contracts the abs and even works out the shoulders, leaving muscles more relaxed afterward. It even provides a good workout for the heart.

• Distraction: Laughter brings the focus away from anger⁷, guilt, stress⁸ and negative emotions in a more beneficial way⁹ than other mere distractions.

• Perspective: Studies show¹⁰ that our response to stressful events can be altered by whether we view something as a 'threat' or a 'challenge'. Humor can give us a more lighthearted perspective and help us view events as 'challenges', thereby making them less threatening and more positive.

• Social Benefits of Laughter: Laughter connects us with others. Also, laughter is contagious¹¹, so if you bring more laughter into your life, you can most likely help others around you to laugh more, and realize these benefits as well. By elevating the mood of those around you, you can reduce their stress levels, and perhaps improve the quality of social interaction you experience with them, reducing your stress level even more!

How To Use Laughter:

Laughter is one of my all-time favorite stress management¹² strategies because it's free, convenient, and beneficial in so many ways. You can get more laughter in your life with the following strategies:

• T.V. and Movies: There's no shortage of laughter opportunities from the entertainment, both at the theater and in the aisles of the video stores¹³, as well as at home with T.V. comedies¹⁴. While wasting your time watching something marginally funny may actually frustrate you, watching truly hilarious movies and shows is an easy way to get laughter into your life whenever you need it.

• Laugh With Friends: Going to a movie or comedy club with friends is a great way to get more laughter in your life. The contagious effects of laughter may mean you'll laugh more than you otherwise would have during the show, plus you'll have jokes to reference at later times. Having friends over for a party or game night is also a great setup for laughter and other good feelings.

• Find Humor In Your Life: Instead of complaining about life's frustrations, try to laugh about them. If something is so frustrating or depressing it's ridiculous, realize that you could 'look back on it and laugh.' Think of how it will sound as a story you could tell to your friends, and then see if you can laugh about it now. With this attitude, you may also find yourself being more lighthearted and silly, giving yourself and those around you more to laugh about. Approach life in a more mirthful way and you'll find you're less stressed about negative events, and you'll achieve the health benefits of laughter. (See this article on maintaining a sense of humor¹⁵.

• 'Fake It Until You Make It': Just as studies show the positive effects of smiling occur whether the smile is fake or real, faked laughter also provides the benefits mentioned above. So smile more, and fake laughter; you'll still achieve positive effects, and the fake merriment may lead to real smiles and laughter.

• More on Having Fun: See these additional suggestions on laughing more and having fun¹⁶ in your life.

_{Sources:
Bennett MP, Lengacher C. Humor and Laughter May Influence Health: III. Laughter and Health Outcomes.¹⁷ Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine, March 2008.
Bennett MP, Zeller JM, Rosenberg L, McCann J. The Effect of Mirthful Laughter on Stress and Natural Killer Cell Activity.¹⁸. Alternative Therapies in Health and Medicine, March-April 2003.
Berk LS, Felten DL, Tan SA, Bittman BB, Westengard J. Modulation of Neuroimmune Parameters During the Eustress of Humor-Associated Mirthful Laughter.¹⁹. Alternative Therapies in Health and Medicine, March 2001.
Skinner N, Brewer N. The Dynamics of Threat and Challenge Appraisals Prior to Stressful Achievement Events.²⁰ Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, September 2002.}